Dono

Can anyone tell me what should I choose? I really have no idea.

Teaching in my school is as if war every day. If I manage to fight it, I feel successful. If I fail to do it, I will be on a guilt trip and fear of being questioned and terminated.

Can anyone tell me what should I do? Is that how does it feel to be a teacher?

God is so silently protecting me. When will your hands show me where should I go?

Hanging there but believe that it is time to move on

I could not solve my transportation problem and I found that it was no use to condemn myself anymore for not being able to support a car and drive myself to work.

More money and more responsiblity are the keys to own a car. I am somehow lack of one of them. I see through that money does not mean everything. So what if I have enough cash to support myself a car, I still need to have higher income to maintain my car. That already means a solite quater of my pay will be gone.

I do not consider myself poor as my life is so much better than before. I am enjoying every breath of my life and my living condition now. I am very thankful and always give thanks that I am blessed with sufficient income to support my own apartment and any other forms of expenses. At the same time, I am so blessed to stay with the Tans' family whose love and care are always overflowing to anoint me. They are the second family.

I give thanks and still faithful to God. I give thanks for every disaster I encountered which allow to improve better. I give thanks for every sleeping late days as I learnt to work so much faster than I expected and more consistent than I thought I could. I give thanks for times when I did not have enough to even buy myself a pants to work as I learnt to fully used what I had to turn them into something useful. I give thanks for dry season as we both see through our strength and anointing come from God only.

Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga x3! Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga! It is time to push through and see how things go.

Grammar Geek

I find that the best place to RE-learn my grammar is to teach in primary school. I learn with the children, check dictionary almost every day - it is VERY frustrating but you learn as the days passed, and read up some books to check grammar.

I hated and hated this process as it always slows down my work but I realised that my grammar has improved. I actually feel satisfied after all the 'mountain climbing' and 'break to the most basic piece to relearn'.

I somehow feel to go on more but perhaps situations and circumstances do not allow me to do so.

A series of unfortunate events

The first encounterment:
1. Monday night - sleeping disorder - didn't sleep well at all.

Second encounterment:
2. Tuesday night and midnight - felt very cold, sneezed non stop and face was swollen. Plus, came home with tans of workload, worst than an Indonesian maid but easier than surgical operation.
Have to 'clorox' the school cloth for I am the teacher.

Third, fourth and countinue counting...
3. Wednesday morning - the flu turned very bad. Non stop sneezing and non stop feeling headache til I hardly could think so I took off on that day. Apart from that, I felt super cold at mid night and I woke up with stronger headache.

Countinue counting...
4. Thursday morning - the flu was not getting any better; in fact, the headache is getting stronger, the pain is spreading to the shoulder, top of the head and my pelvis,and my whole body was aching. I went to the government clinic again for the doctor told me go back to her if I were not well again. I followed her instructions. However, today different doctor consulted me. He refused to give me any M.C. The worst thing was he didn't even really check what kind of flu I have but just a very brief check up. He gave me stronger flu medication - meaning will be even more drownzy - and panadol, which is the medication will trigger my allergy. I was very upset. I get a nagging from the doctor for no reason and got all the medication which were the same like yesterday.
In the end, I went to a private clinic, which is known as quite reasonable doctor. The doctor gave me a detailed check up and identify it as a type of virus - not the H1N1- apparently the virus is attacking my whole body. I might look fine on the outside but actually the body inside is fighting with the virus. He advised me to rest one more day at home. Also, it is better to stay away from the children in my school just in case I spread to them.
Now, I am at home. Taken the medication. My work as a teacher is still on going. I still need to mark tans of books and worksheet. There is a question in my head - It is because I am weak or it is because of the burden and work load that I have been carrying it for four months.
I pray hard God gives me an answer for the next road to take.
Is it the grass at the other side is greener?