Popularity down turn

It is painful to see some photos that trigger some sad memories.

I was there but I was not in their hearts. I felt left out. The pain and sourness that I have now shows how hurt the incident has done to me.

I feel the more I live the more I am alone. Does my other course mates or school mates or the friends I used to meet at tuition centre feel the same? I don't have much high school friends. The few, who were very closed to my heart, are either in the State pursuing their dreams or in Penang and left me forgotten in their mind.

Does my other friends feel the same? But I see that they are as though acting very happy and excited. When we dine together, they don't even mention a single bit of their problem. Everything seems to be very cool, very good and they are very wealthy.

Did I or do I smaller my circle of friends? I consciously do it or unconsciously do it? I rather do work and work hard rather than chat much with big group of people. I guess that is why I am not popular. I don't know how to socialise. Sigh =/

I only feel Jesus is my best friend. Well, God is still good to me at least when I sign into facebook, I have many post appear on the page. I have faithful darling writes on my wall.

I am not popular I am sure. I have few friends left on earth. My goosh. What should I do? Who can or how to help me? =,<

Make new friends and brew the friendship to be truthful friends

I realise that I don't have friends. I don't have much friends at all. Emo-ed. Feel sad. But there is a tiny voice inside me telling me again and again, it is ok God is with you and Jesus is your friend. I feel very emo. Almost cried. Feel that I have forgotten. I don't blame anyone because I know that I am not a sociable type or party animal. My absent makes others don't keep me in mind. Fire will turn to flame and vanish.

I felt hurt. It is tough when he is not around to cheer, listen and accompany me. I can't wait for 4th Dec.

I put my heart and soul on work and love the children. I love them very much; at the same time, taking measured steps to keep a distance from them so that I won't be heart broken when they grow up one and leave my centre. Secondly, most importantly, when I put my heart and soul in it, every day is a walk of faith and every moment God is getting more real than ever before and God is getting closer to me like never before.

Looking back, I did not loose much but I gain better relationship with Jesus who is my true friend. I tell myself to let go and know tell myself - I loose old friends and some friends who forgotten me but I will make more new friends and good truthful friends.

When Boon Aun says, "Forget them la, you have us." My heart feels so warm. Warm-ie pengu family ;)

Thank you God for letting my mind and heart see it.

It has been a long time since I last been here.

Everything seems like transitioning,
every day seems like only God and I walk together,
every day feels like enemies are near four sides of me,
every step gets me to fall and get up to learn more;
every breathe seems to be of valuable, and every words and thoughts have been important.

Every moment sounds like in trouble.
More like what?

I am numb by the confusion.
I am annoyed by the insecurity and fulling other people's demands most of the time.
I like the stretching.
I like the punching.
I like the limitation that makes creativity comes out the show the way.

Here I am God. Help me.

I don't know why but he has mood swing.

I don't know what to say and don't want to go near him.

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Right thing to do vs. selfish and mind your own business

What would you do?

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I tend to forget that I am the teacher and I am their teacher.

I will forget that I am in charge and when I remember I feel nervous.

I let the feeling surrounds me. Surrounding me.

The feeling runs over me and I push it back again.

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I want to take a shower, I feel that the heat is surrounding me.

His emo-ness makes me emo too.

How? I don't like. How? IT IS AFFECTING ME NOW.