Why it matters

Why it matters

When you tell the story, remember I am waiting.

When you told the beauty, I hope I am in your corner of your mind.

Knowing I love.     I do.     I care.     I feel. 

Speak to me til I understand. 

                                      It is how it matters. 

You are beauty and shinny, 

I tone down. Giving love in the dark under the eye of the Justice. 

That is beauty. 

                                It is how it matters. 

When time is rushing, people are pushing.

Thousand deep the heart feels, infinity distance close up, wonders come to an answer, 

when you just have to turn and look into my eyes. 

                              I was and am waiting. 

                              It is how it matters. 

Sosiology definition

In sociology class, mobility social identifies that when an individual climbs up to another social status in education, you are climbing up to another step of higher status. Hence, society has elit class, upper class, moderate class and lower class - poverty. 

I found myself trap in bewteen. I am climbing up to another level but I am trapped because I am not going any further. I have nothing to make me go up further. In fact, I feel myself moving down; which is also mobility social of going down fall; towards the fall and lower social status. 

I feel I have a spoilt life and a spoilt childhood. I am not good in anything. Whatever ability I have accademic can't prove or show. Whatever wisdom and gifts I have are not able to apply to real life to earn myself higher level. 

Sociology indentifies my situation, dilemma and social status as static mobility social. In another word, stay in between of poverty and moderate class. My dream to go India as volunteer will even pull me down to poverty level. 

In conclusion, I have a spoilt life and childhood that could me equip me to a very capable, confident and talented person in society. This leads to either static or down fall mobility social. No social control/ kawalan social could possibly help.

Is my case a disaster and failure? Who will watch over my back and help me? =.=

 

confused and pain

Can anyone tell me what is the problem of my heart?

It keep sending out sourish taste. It is heavy. It suddenly has a hole.

I feel ashamed of myself. 

After four years of studying English, I am still suck in Grammar. 

What is the root problem of it? I think back all my past from primary, secondary til form sixth.

What and how to improve?

I don't know. Who can tell me my questions in my heart and mind now?

Will God open doors?

Is it that one?

I don't know. 

It's going to be alright--- Sara Groves

Sara Groves
Lyrics to It's Going To Be Alright :
It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you're not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you're sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that 

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I believe you'll outlive this pain in you heart
And you'll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that 

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you clichÈ's 
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

One and First... Out of random...

My number One friend with her new Number One/Uno cup

My first rose... only red rose  => 

 

Can you differenciate the shoes? ... It is actually like this... I found my first twin! hehehe...  

The left is Najla and the right one is me ;>

                 

It has been a long time since my last walk with kee aun. Today we went for a walk. Talk. 

I wish this time never stop. 

I feel refresh and ready to WORK!!!!!!!!!! 

Two days of rest and rest. 

I must finish writing KDO term papers, add in somemore Norini's pp, Children play and next week is TEST for sosiology... =.=

I can't wait for Friday to come :) 

Valentine Sweet

I just had a very beautfiful and romantic dinner with Kee Aun. 

What make it so special is because we both share a bowl of 'lou shu fan' and 'leong tao fu'. This packet of food is 'tak pao' by his sweet father and brother.

Eat at the same dining area where growing up takes place for this family, playing the same favourite songs and food. The food is delicious. Not spending on something with high price low cost food. 

He gently put the food into two bowls and cleaned everything for me.

Watching him take out the food, wash, clean and arrange the plates. I see fatherhood and love. Simplicity yet genuine.

Sweet. Happiness. Blessing.

Quiet and relax. Comfortable and clean. No others but all family.

Exceptance and love. 

This I consider the best valentine dinner. I am still hoping that we could have another dinner and spend some time talking. 

Flowers will fade away but the feelings of receiving flowers will last forever

it has been a busy week. Sleep after 3am every night because of Valentine. Clean, wash, pack, arrange, clear torns, wrap, design... tired... 

Do I feel worth it? I don't get high pay but I am happy, satisfied and learn skills. Happy because I can know many new faces and great people in my work place, we laugh and feel free to express ourselves, our thoughts and our crazy jokes among ourselves regardless our age and gender. Satisfied is because I learn to arrange flowers and each time when I manage to arrange the flowers beautifully I am satisfied. Whenever we can think of something new and pratical to handle and solve some problems I feel extra satisfied. The skills that I learn are beyond words. I am a person who seek what I want to learn then I will learn. Flowers arrangement - I will never look at flowers the same way again, wrapping and colour coding and combination. Communication and management skills - I see it as a good basic ground I learn and all the management theories that I studied before come alive when I work here. Relationship management. Collaboration leadership. And etc. 

Everyday I went home feeling tired, sometimes angry but somehow satisfied. When I laid down on my bed and resting my head on the new pillow Kee Aun's father bought for me, I feel contented and loved. The pillow is wonderful! The thoughts and the people behind this pillow is love. Thank you, uncle and Kee Aun. 

;)

Last night, two days in a row, back to back, we were 'paid to celebrate Valentine'. Believe it or not? But it is true. We worked for Valentine. We walked ard Jaya One and sold flowers. We got rejection; at the same time; we witnessed people who bought the flowers out of love to give to their special onse. I am not doing any advertising here but the feeling of seeing others happy is the joy that satisfied me. Flowers will die and fade away but the feelings of receiving the flowers will stay forever in the heart and memory.

Some people buy flowers to impress gals; some buy for their special ones just because of love. Just remember, the flowers are not wrong, the flowerist are not wrong too. It is the intention and what you do with the flowers to the person you give that is the point. In my opinion, any lady in this world, no matter what age, they deserve to receive flowers. Expensive, carefully wrapped and designed bouquet of flowers or just simply one or raw stalks of flowers. THEY JUST DESERVE IT! Those who spend also must be wise when spending that's all I can say. But, I really believe a woman deserve to receive flowers; at least once; in their life. 

sticky stain vs. fresh fallen snow

"Come now, let us argue this out," says the Lord. "No matter  how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow." Isaiah 1:18

Hosana

the Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those who are crushed in the spirit. Psalm 34:18

My sight is blurred because of my tears.  Psalm 31:9

Don't leave me now; don't abandone me. Psalm 27:9

Jesus said:

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28