That's how I see

Is that mean I have to leave if I have lost my passion? Is is better for me to go if I find that I have no more desire for my job?

These are the questions pushed to me by someone dedicated at work.

I am half worn out, no life, tired and already come to the level of 'motor-cross'. I have joy and fun. At the same time, I do stress out til I can't take it anymore.

My colleagues who work more than 2 years have the following attitude:

Type I: 'don't care so much anymore'.
Every day just marking, marking, checking corrections, teaching and teaching, scolding and scolding, giving and giving remedial classes until 4.45pm or even 5pm.
They are nice people, always able to understand your situation, always try to help out but always tell me the worst things that are coming as they have been through all that in the 3 years of experience.
They don't feel happy or excited. 'Don't ask me whether I feel my life is meaningful or not. I am numbed di.'

Type II: 'Just do your best. This is life.'
Every day just marking, marking, checking corrections, teaching and teaching, scolding and scolding, giving and giving remedial classes until 4.45pm or even 5pm.
Helpful , friendly and loving people who can give you some motivation once in a while.
They love teaching and feel that it is worth it.

Type III: They think that they know everything and always right about everything and their words can determine your hard work to go to waste.
Every day just marking, checking corrections, teaching, scolding, go back on time, boss you to do things at the very last minute when the fact is you really don't think that you can complete your work. It is not because you are lazy, don't want to push yourself to try or stubborn, but it is simply so difficult for newbies. Plus, they won't even tell you how to start or where to get the things when they should be the one to tell you.
Push deadline to you, show the stuck up face. AAAARRRGGGG
Gossip is their favourite pass time, acting to be very professional when Boss is around, online shopping and chatting and surfing the net all the time, non stop and totally not because of teaching or just to relax for awhile.

What am I talking about now... sigh... I don't know... I am worn out...

Lord, I need motivation and anointing. I need a break. I am not being lazy. I really really need a break. Please take care of the monkeys and suckers in school. I really have no more strength to teach when I am totally worn out.

Today, pastor came to talk to me. She still remembered about the difficulities I told her about my work. She wanted to talk more and introduce me to other school. She thought that such stress just will harm anyone's body and mind. I TOTALLY agree.

Today, in church, I told God I forgive those who accused me for nothing, talked bad about me when they are the cause of the problems and those who jealous about me.

I will do my best. I hand my imperfection into His hands - Proverbs 20
I am suck in Grammar. I KNOW IT LONG TIME AGO. I GO AGAINST THE TIGHTS coz I don't want to give up easily. Yet, I struggled til I cried most of the time to mark essays, 50 over essays in a morning.

I keep myself in prayer. I still give thanks though I talked so much just now about people at work. This is because I know that there are 10 times worst school than mine. There are worst work load than mine. Perhaps I am newbie or I am just simply a weak person.

I need coffee.