Live above the line, poayling

I have no pictures for my first camp. No good memories for me. I avoided any cameras in the room. I was left behind. That was how I felt but I told myself. No one will make room for me unless myself.

As I reflect, I found that every time I got into something, I was thrown into a position where it needed me to straight away swim in the deep blue sea and still rock on. It is indeed kind of hard but I don't know why I am always in this kind of position.

I almost quite. Still having some kind of quitting attitude in me. I feel that my blog is boring because not many updates and pictures or interesting insight. I kind of lost my creativity to look for the next answer.

I need to live above the line. That is the echo in my mind and ears. I want to quite facebook n blog but I tell myself - live above the line.

I guess when I read back I will surprise myself again.

Merry Curriculum and motivating syllabus

In the midst of working, I think that I kind of like my new job. I want to work more and more for my new centre. I will be fully in charge of my centre in another 3 months. I pray hard that I can make decision and take all the responsibilities given.

I love teaching the children. They are so so adorable. Every session with them is just not enough. Each week I see them, they are growing more intelligent and adorable.

Looking at the syllabus, I have a good guidance and materials to teach children now. I love it! I like the programme and the books. It is something I have been looking for education. I believe in what I am doing but there is still some holding back. I still don't want to count the eggs before they hatch.

He will be back tomorrow. It was so difficult to count the days til he is back.

Suddenly I see

This is the first day I start to really analyse how to plot and plan worksheets for students. Kind of nervous actually. Honestly, I kind of worried. After watching and dancing with Lady Gaga's song. I felt that as if God's spirit and boldness had left me. It felt bad. It was as if I depend on myself now.

It is as if I am so lonely and left alone.

I suddenly feel weird. Why this kind of fear enter my spirit. I guess the key is not about her or her song. The key is regardless how I feel the promise of God will not leave me and when I pray in His name Jesus was here and is still here for me.

I miss 'him'. I hope he is home very very soon.

So, there was this stranger bumped into me and...

Today was indeed a day that I live by faith and God is so real and good. He led me through another day with blessing and his strong mighty presence. I love Jesus more and more. Believe in Him like never before every day. He is great almighty. Others have the same problems, maybe get the same blessing like I do but I sing and jump in joy because I know who is my Creator who protects me and hold my hands to walk with Him and I have His mighty protection all over me.

So, there was this stranger bumped into me. MPH book sales is at desa Park City! Exciting xD

So after work and dinner, I walked there to check out some good stuff. The whole irresistible books of Frank McCourt are selling hot there! With 20% off - Yes, even the 'Teacher Man'. It was out of stock for some time last year. The Time Traveller's Wife and the whole collection of Amy Tan's books are selling at a good price. I was so excited and I secretly wished Soon Chen, Janice and Kee Aun were there. I hold the books - Teacher Man and The Time Traveller's Wife - for more than 30 min and the mind was counting how much left in my pocket and bank to survive for another few more months. I had to put them back and looked around in case any big fans of these books suddenly come and grab them all.

Suddenly, there was this stranger, in black polo neck shirt, bumped into me from behind. The sudden shoulder rub made me nearly fall down. He got a shock and was so worried that I would fall - he hold my waist gently - Yes, as in the movie or the Bollywood movie - the hero hold the heroin's waist to save her from falling down xD That stranger was actually quite good looking - Pan Asia or Chindian kind of look - Tall and bit hairy - like George xD, he was very shy that he did not dare to look at me. His face was looking down all the time. I felt kind of shy too especially when he hold my waist xD

I put the books back and he quickly walked to other sides to look for other books. Maybe he was the big fan of Frank McCourt and Time Travellers wife and he got excited to find the books were right in front of him

Thinking back, it was kind of funny and sweet.


I wish 'he' was there. The fourth day 'he' is in Singapore. Miss his smell, his voice and his crazy singing. Miss to see him wearing his 'pants' at home xD It is like something missing without him at home to disturb and to be disturbed.

Every day is another sweet day with Jesus. Have Faith is the way and only we can put down our pride and be humble. God loves the humble.

:)

First Day

The first day he is away.

I start to miss him the moment I get out from my house. The warm sun light reminds that I still have to work.

I walk to house and miss his greeting and his charming voice. I preserve and hide my impatience in my pocket to wait for the last day to come then I will be hugging him and go shopping with him.

I can't believe that I have been driving myself to work for the third times.
Every day when I arrive at work, I praise God and I know that it is by God's grace I am placed there.

This is my new workplace. I pray that God bless me and my workplace.

My little Kancil and I made a lot of adventure together. We drove to many places and came back safely. I went to PJ, Mid Valley, work place and home safely.

Tomorrow is my first time driving to work alone. I pray that it will be a safe trip.

my ultimate goal is earn lots and lots and lots of money to pay my PTPTN loan, Educational loan n car loan, send home, rent, food, future...

Hebrews 13
Do not love money and be contented with what you have. The Lord will never leave you or forsake you. The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man will do unto me.

The Saviour is here!

There is a hope for scoliosis. A new discover believed that it is able to help scoliosis patients from the age of eight until seventy.

I am really excited and can't wait but to go to the clinic to start doing the treatment. However, I am not sure how much does it cost. The machines is longer and taller than my Kancil and to go on that machine the patient has to wear a full armour of the suits.

Is there any alternative treatment?

'Hao Ma bu chi hui tao cao'

Today, I feel like blogging in Mandarin. Though I never enjoy my schooling life in Chinese School, there is always something I respect about the system. I respect Chinese school that they discipline the students in the way that they will learn to at least respect people. Secondly, it is the idioms and proverbs we learn. Other than biblical truth, I find that there is central truth in Chinese idioms and proverbs. They are often short yet deep in meaning.

'Hao Ma bu chi hui tao cao'

First car!

I can't wait for my car to come. I can't wait to practice driving and drive myself to work.

I am very exciteeeed!

Thinking back, I am very grateful I teach in my School. The harsh and stressful working condition train me for greater things to come. My limited pay allows me to spend wisely and learn to value my profession even more.

My passion and love for children have never stopped and I still love my students.

One thing I like about my school is the system. It has a set of system to run the school and to reduce many paper work teachers and principals have to do. This is the system that really works and still improving to be better. The next thing I like about the school is the environment the founder of the school creates for the children since the beginning. Moreover, it has a very holistic programme to develop children's soft skill, character as well as academic. The enrichment programmes the School offer can't be found in any other schools.

However, there are more rooms for improvement and the School should practice flexibility. The School needs to improve the well fare of the employees and improve the learning activities in class.

I still pray that God bless the School as the School is blessing some other people too.

My first car

Dear God,

Thank you for I get my first small car. The engine of the car is still well maintained and the car is clean and the colour is still beautiful.

God, where is the direction You promised to show me? There are so many doors opened and my impatient heart sometimes want to jump higher and faster. Please keep me waiting with a peaceful and faithful heart.

God, after many trials and tribulations, I thank you for love. This is because of the trails and tribulations I see your love and your work in my life. And each time you appear stronger and so real in my life. I cannot deny your present and your name in life. I just cannot.

I love you, God. Show me the way like how you promise.

What I can say is I will bless her. I have decided in my heart to let go. Enough is enough. She was very very very childish.

By God's grace, I live my every day. How I will bless her? My heart will stop angry at her, the issue is considered 'yesterday', and I will let go.

Her words are abusive and attacking me in any way she can. Her old mind and childish manners are meant to make me feel bad and let her has the power to talk.

The Chinese saying 'Qing zhe zhi qing'. I don't talk or tell 'the world' like her because it will make me look a fool.

David falls and Job suffers the most until he gets blessing and promotion by God. The tests and tribulations they been through are not anyone can go through.

I pray that tomorrow I will still have the same peace of mind. My days are near to leave.

leaving for good

Dear God,

It hurts to know the difference.

Am I worth so little?

I am doing a job more than I am paid for. The demands are always more than the supply.

The treatment from my department and among my colleagues is not something anybody can accept.

I take a deep breathe to swallow many humble pies and orders. My stomach pains.

I kept thinking what went wrong. Did I say something wrong during the interview? during the meeting? with parents? with who else?

I kept telling myself it is fine, the amount does not determine my ability and skills, I kept telling myself promotion comes from the Lord and try to ignore what had happened. I preserve for a long time, taking it with patience and love.

Every morning I still hard that You bless the School.

However, there is a little voice in my heart, unsettled, asking, am I really worth that much only? By grace I am here not by work but is it whatever I had done can't even please You a little?

God, what do you want to comment about my blog? You commented so much to your servants and each and every servants you let them go through suffering for good. Am I going through your special plan now?

I cannot understand why the School gives me many sweet tongues, sweet promises and sweet talk. Perhaps I was naive to believe.

God, I still do. With love and patience.

God, I tell myself I do it for You. Am I not pleasing you again?

I felt hurt and lost. I know very well what to do - still do my best.

Pastor preached with love - do not give in to disappointment to meet the divine destiny.

God, I do not know how. Did you forget me?

My friends who read my blog might be laughing at me for they say this is the trouble I put myself into and I ask for it.

I have nothing to say much, God. Am I forgotten?

I cannot pretend nothing happen.

Thank you that by your grace I rent my house.

SICK AND TIRED

I am very sick and tired. I SLEPT FOR ONLY 2 HOURS A DAY FROM MONDAY TO FRIDAY. My whole body is aching, my spines and nerves are hurting like crazy. I see myself as if fatter.

Shut your mouth if you can't even strike for excellence and you never are.
Stop condemning others when you are the BLOODY WOMAN who created the gossip. STOP GIVING ANY COMMENTS WHEN YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TEACHING AND SHUT THE BLOODY SYSTEM IF IT DID NOT WORK!

I feel like slapping the children who think that they are princesses. They deserve slapping and spanking until they realise their bloody stupid mistakes.

God is GREAT and MERCIFUL. The truth has revealed! I hope God bless them and strike the pathetic school from giving blatant lie!

Stay connected

I am really so that that busy but I have the mood to pen down some words.

I want to tell the students who are still faithfully reading my blogs that I hope you all get the best results for SPM and PMR.

I want and must be watchful. The enemy is at the gate.

Nothing is stronger that letting it go and move on.
The three keys from Sunday sermon, disappointment to divine appointment:
1. the foundation must be on the Lord who is the same yesterday and today.
2. Let it go.
3. Move on
Romans 8:24 "All things happened for good for those who loves God"

Still wish to have a good car and teaching children.

I want and need a car.

Feel very tired of some people. Just can't forgive them yet and can't get rid of the dirt they put on me.

I need the freedom. I need to breathe.

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20


I have made a choice that has less chosen. I longed for something to relieve my tedium everyday life. My journey has become tedious.

I love the first stanza as the persona and I are deep thinker who think and look further so that we will make a right choice. The first stanza portrays the battling minds and the endurance of the persona and I. We can be patient with the endurance at the same time battling with the minds to find solutions. Apart from that, we both stress ourselves enough to have such a wave of emotion to feel the every suffering of making a decision that will affect our entire future. As a result of the suffering, he writes an influential, realistic yet charming master piece. And I get a strike by his poem for my entire life. I believe if Robert Frost is still alive, he and I will become good friends who share the same kind of stress, suffering and great deep thoughts.

Our stress that pushes our every sense of the body to suffer is sharpening our every common sense and humanity.

I have in loved with this poem so much that I find none other poems is as attractive as this one.

The third stanza, oh I like it! I truly doubt whether I will turn back or go back to the side I have not taken to travel far. I truly doubted and doubting about it. I see that when a road is chosen, I will walk it out. There hardly will be any turning back for time. I feel the freshness of more green pasture in front. I will walk it out in the end. And time will age me and no doors to go back. Yet, it is not something so despair and desperate. One road leads to another, there is always better roads for me and blessing is waiting for me.

The last stanza reflects my voice of the tedium everyday life and the secret thought of choosing a better direction. I sigh to write my blog. I sigh. Yet, I am glad that I have made a decision and taken the less chosen, tedious and taxing side. I smell the freshness and feel the breezing cooling air brushing through my face as I walk in the new gate. Bright sunshine warms my feet and still water is next to me.

I have no balls.

I guess leaving is the best solution.

Dono

Can anyone tell me what should I choose? I really have no idea.

Teaching in my school is as if war every day. If I manage to fight it, I feel successful. If I fail to do it, I will be on a guilt trip and fear of being questioned and terminated.

Can anyone tell me what should I do? Is that how does it feel to be a teacher?

God is so silently protecting me. When will your hands show me where should I go?

Hanging there but believe that it is time to move on

I could not solve my transportation problem and I found that it was no use to condemn myself anymore for not being able to support a car and drive myself to work.

More money and more responsiblity are the keys to own a car. I am somehow lack of one of them. I see through that money does not mean everything. So what if I have enough cash to support myself a car, I still need to have higher income to maintain my car. That already means a solite quater of my pay will be gone.

I do not consider myself poor as my life is so much better than before. I am enjoying every breath of my life and my living condition now. I am very thankful and always give thanks that I am blessed with sufficient income to support my own apartment and any other forms of expenses. At the same time, I am so blessed to stay with the Tans' family whose love and care are always overflowing to anoint me. They are the second family.

I give thanks and still faithful to God. I give thanks for every disaster I encountered which allow to improve better. I give thanks for every sleeping late days as I learnt to work so much faster than I expected and more consistent than I thought I could. I give thanks for times when I did not have enough to even buy myself a pants to work as I learnt to fully used what I had to turn them into something useful. I give thanks for dry season as we both see through our strength and anointing come from God only.

Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga x3! Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga! It is time to push through and see how things go.

Grammar Geek

I find that the best place to RE-learn my grammar is to teach in primary school. I learn with the children, check dictionary almost every day - it is VERY frustrating but you learn as the days passed, and read up some books to check grammar.

I hated and hated this process as it always slows down my work but I realised that my grammar has improved. I actually feel satisfied after all the 'mountain climbing' and 'break to the most basic piece to relearn'.

I somehow feel to go on more but perhaps situations and circumstances do not allow me to do so.

A series of unfortunate events

The first encounterment:
1. Monday night - sleeping disorder - didn't sleep well at all.

Second encounterment:
2. Tuesday night and midnight - felt very cold, sneezed non stop and face was swollen. Plus, came home with tans of workload, worst than an Indonesian maid but easier than surgical operation.
Have to 'clorox' the school cloth for I am the teacher.

Third, fourth and countinue counting...
3. Wednesday morning - the flu turned very bad. Non stop sneezing and non stop feeling headache til I hardly could think so I took off on that day. Apart from that, I felt super cold at mid night and I woke up with stronger headache.

Countinue counting...
4. Thursday morning - the flu was not getting any better; in fact, the headache is getting stronger, the pain is spreading to the shoulder, top of the head and my pelvis,and my whole body was aching. I went to the government clinic again for the doctor told me go back to her if I were not well again. I followed her instructions. However, today different doctor consulted me. He refused to give me any M.C. The worst thing was he didn't even really check what kind of flu I have but just a very brief check up. He gave me stronger flu medication - meaning will be even more drownzy - and panadol, which is the medication will trigger my allergy. I was very upset. I get a nagging from the doctor for no reason and got all the medication which were the same like yesterday.
In the end, I went to a private clinic, which is known as quite reasonable doctor. The doctor gave me a detailed check up and identify it as a type of virus - not the H1N1- apparently the virus is attacking my whole body. I might look fine on the outside but actually the body inside is fighting with the virus. He advised me to rest one more day at home. Also, it is better to stay away from the children in my school just in case I spread to them.
Now, I am at home. Taken the medication. My work as a teacher is still on going. I still need to mark tans of books and worksheet. There is a question in my head - It is because I am weak or it is because of the burden and work load that I have been carrying it for four months.
I pray hard God gives me an answer for the next road to take.
Is it the grass at the other side is greener?

Greener grass

Is it the grass at the opposite is greener? I don't dare. No so called 'Testeron'.

I don't have a car.

I am angry at myself.

How are you?

Have I been forgotten?

It is holiday!!!

Holiday holiday holiday!

A week of new and extra sleeping hour.

Soldiers

It has been three and half months, near to four months, the military training has made me an army soldier to train a troupe soldiers.

My team mates and other fighters are putting in their best.

Some went down already.

I don't know

I am sick and tired.

Can't apply Godliness in life?

Unfair! Bias! Favouritism!

I am angry and very upset!

I don't want to be surrounded by these kind of people.

I will stay at home the whole day on Sunday.

My school life in my school. From assistant to class teacher within one and a half month. From marking books assistant to future vision planner. From just a new assistant, I am now one of the very important class and English teachers in the school.

Teaching primary is not as easy as some of my friends think. It requires you to be professional, patient, responsible, care about the main thing and also the details of ALL the things about your students and your profession.

A part from that, teaching is a profession and it is never an easy job.

My first field trip was to Mid Valley - the science exhibition.
My second field trip was jungle tracking at Ulu Langat, Cheras.


Ms. Thava (in black shirt) she is my helper for my class. She is a very helpful and understanding colleague. Grad from U tar PJ ;)


We entered the jungle and played water in the river :P *Sorry, our shoes actually dirty the water i think.. haha*

This is the main office downstairs of my school. We were so busy calling the parents that we have to pull the phone to other side to talk. xD





IF
If I go now, I will miss the children.
If I let go now, they will need to adapt to new changes again.
If I stop now, I can't see how far I can go.
I know I need a break and a rest.
There is always greener at the other side of the field.

Graduation

I took my robe. Walked around campus for almost the real last time. I walked around KPS, spent for my lunch and sneaks. Did it with purpose.

I walked to KPS Auditorium. Switcfoot's song stucked in my mind. 'Fragments' came to mind. We were given a chance to speak and direct too. I give thanks to God.

I walked to the V.C. block, looked at the V.C.'s photos for the last time. Standing at the audi door gave me more flash back than anything.



Next was Pekan Buku, shopped for stationary. Memories of my first week in UM came to my mind. Janice and I went there to look for good stationary for first day of class but we were so disappointed because of bad service and old goods. Anything with UM logo always looked so stupid but today I bought a very nice UM organizer. The stationary shop has ungraded themselves by being more organized, clean, tidy, and more good products.

I suddenly felt that my days had been yesterday.

I spent the whole afternoon reading in Pekan Buku. Trust me, they have more new good books compared to last time. It is cleaner now. I read and read the whole afternoon. Feeling so hungry for more knowledge.

I miss the time I go to class. I felt that I needed to study more. It is not based on impulse but it is a need calling me to go for further studies. It is not now. Commitment pulls me aside. I just felt the urge to study again. I must not loose the inspiration and motivation.

I see that I must ahead. My time is not out yet. It has just started ticking.

Motor Cross

It has been a long time since we had a good walk. We went to Imbi and walked to Pavillion.

Along the way, I saw a crowd of Chinese, who styled themselves like Taiwanese, spoke the Japanese Kawaii language. Then, in front of me, there was another big group of people, mostly Pakistanese and UAE friends. They spoke their language and they were so comfortable here and enjoyed themselves. Their casual talk and laughter made me almost forget that I were the local actually.

I lined up in front JCo, waiting for my turn. My front and my back were mostly westerners and UAE friends. I felt that I were the foreigner among them xD

I felt kind of insecure whenever I went there. The place has been improving and changing rapidly. I can't catch hold my breath to accept it. New style comes up and people forget about the old style and old stories. Every week or even every day new people, new crowd and new faces will go to the place for holiday and shopping. I don't like the feeling of being forgotten and unfarmilize. Each visit there as if another new danger discovery.

Anyway, I am back home safely. Praise God. He came back with me smilling happily :P

Tomorrow is another Motor Cross. Tuesday is Motor Cross Level 2. I must do it and I pray hard and real hard (I mean really hard) that God makes this cross another Moses crosses Red Sea.

Thank you Jesus.

Just when I posted this latest post, I saw this advertisement on the right side of the screen.

"You feel that you can't make it? You are not talented? You just want to give up. GIVE UP, give up, Give Up. Take their advice and go join 'The way to Happiness Foundation"

I clicked to the site, knowing that the way to happiness is no where else but Jesus, still I clicked the site.

The site showed so many ways to live life in another aspect.

I smiled.

I have been through life like this. Some of the teachings are universal truth. They are all in the bible. I hate this feeling coz the site reminded me again. I followed all the ways the philosopher taught or whoever taught. But, in the end of the day, I still cried and struggled in darkness. The teaching can't even reach an inch closer to the problem of the heart and soul. It just feel so empty. Still feel damn unfair about life.

paused typing.

I looked up in the air. My heart feels so warm now. Tears come out. It is Jesus who saved me. Not because I am a better person, but simply because He loves me. My heart and soul have an answer now and forever. That is Jesus.
I still have disappointment in life. I still struggle, look at my work, my monkeys and suckers in school, but I have Jesus forever.

That's how I see

Is that mean I have to leave if I have lost my passion? Is is better for me to go if I find that I have no more desire for my job?

These are the questions pushed to me by someone dedicated at work.

I am half worn out, no life, tired and already come to the level of 'motor-cross'. I have joy and fun. At the same time, I do stress out til I can't take it anymore.

My colleagues who work more than 2 years have the following attitude:

Type I: 'don't care so much anymore'.
Every day just marking, marking, checking corrections, teaching and teaching, scolding and scolding, giving and giving remedial classes until 4.45pm or even 5pm.
They are nice people, always able to understand your situation, always try to help out but always tell me the worst things that are coming as they have been through all that in the 3 years of experience.
They don't feel happy or excited. 'Don't ask me whether I feel my life is meaningful or not. I am numbed di.'

Type II: 'Just do your best. This is life.'
Every day just marking, marking, checking corrections, teaching and teaching, scolding and scolding, giving and giving remedial classes until 4.45pm or even 5pm.
Helpful , friendly and loving people who can give you some motivation once in a while.
They love teaching and feel that it is worth it.

Type III: They think that they know everything and always right about everything and their words can determine your hard work to go to waste.
Every day just marking, checking corrections, teaching, scolding, go back on time, boss you to do things at the very last minute when the fact is you really don't think that you can complete your work. It is not because you are lazy, don't want to push yourself to try or stubborn, but it is simply so difficult for newbies. Plus, they won't even tell you how to start or where to get the things when they should be the one to tell you.
Push deadline to you, show the stuck up face. AAAARRRGGGG
Gossip is their favourite pass time, acting to be very professional when Boss is around, online shopping and chatting and surfing the net all the time, non stop and totally not because of teaching or just to relax for awhile.

What am I talking about now... sigh... I don't know... I am worn out...

Lord, I need motivation and anointing. I need a break. I am not being lazy. I really really need a break. Please take care of the monkeys and suckers in school. I really have no more strength to teach when I am totally worn out.

Today, pastor came to talk to me. She still remembered about the difficulities I told her about my work. She wanted to talk more and introduce me to other school. She thought that such stress just will harm anyone's body and mind. I TOTALLY agree.

Today, in church, I told God I forgive those who accused me for nothing, talked bad about me when they are the cause of the problems and those who jealous about me.

I will do my best. I hand my imperfection into His hands - Proverbs 20
I am suck in Grammar. I KNOW IT LONG TIME AGO. I GO AGAINST THE TIGHTS coz I don't want to give up easily. Yet, I struggled til I cried most of the time to mark essays, 50 over essays in a morning.

I keep myself in prayer. I still give thanks though I talked so much just now about people at work. This is because I know that there are 10 times worst school than mine. There are worst work load than mine. Perhaps I am newbie or I am just simply a weak person.

I need coffee.

If I were the boss...

Each teacher deserves a better office.

A wide, flat and white table, personal laptop or computer, enough bookshelf and the staff room should look motivating.

http://www.clicarq.com/oficinas-konstruplus/

Love. BOLD

I need love.

I slept and slept for the past two days. I went for check up to ensure that I was not affected by any unwanted virus.

I felt very lonely recently. I never want to throw any emotion to you. But, sometimes I just cannot help it. I do not know what is lack in me. I do not know. I feel that I need to be loved not left out. I need to feel that there is always someone who supports me at work and also at home.

My hormones run up and down recently. As a result, I need to feel more than I used to. I just need to feel it. I need it so badly. Feel loved, feel companies and feel cared.

I give my best to my students and my family. Do you know? Do you feel it? What is lack there? Who can love me too? God... are you there? Do you know all the bitterness and fear I face every day and week? SOS SOS SOS

******
I can't stand it anymore. I let it out. I cried. Standing outside the house. Felt lonely and left out. I didn't blame anyone. It is the life I am living now.

I cried. Didn't care whether neighbours heard it or not.

Is it because I have never grow up? I am childish? I am coward?

I sent out sms to ask for help, support and prayers. Those that I count on really replied me. The one phone call and one message have spoken so much, so much to my heart.

I continued to cook my maggie mee. SH*T ~~~!!! I forgot how to turn on gas! Which button was supposed for which one! So much of lesson plans and so much of talking and teaching but I forgot HOW TO TURN ON GAS!

I tried. Failed! Heard frizzly sound but didn't know where it came from.

I gave up.

Looking at the maggie mee packet that I have opened. Looking at the hot water I have poured into the bowl to 'soak' my mee.

Everything turned silent for a moment.

Suddenly, I prayed out loud. 'God, you must help me. It is my attitude. I need to be BOLD.' I went to turn on the first button and tried to put the fire gun near to the stove. 'Just try la, so scared of dying, TRY!'

The fire is lighten up! I put on a smile. I cooked my noodles. Fed myself. I think they are having good time there too. They need it.

It is my attitude other than some unreasonable factors happened in my life that make my life tough. I guess It is me who is timid always. I must be BOLD. Think, plan and DO IT! Don't hold back and think and think again and again. That will not get things done; thus, stress and more stress come. Coz I can't complete all the tasks.

******

I need you to love me. Gals n Guys friends. I need your support, care and hear your voice. Don't leave me behind.

Flyer Coaster now

I am riding Roller Coaster and Flyer Coaster alone with Jesus.

Psalm 121: I lift up my eyes and my help comes from the Lord.

Yammie

I am amazed by these packing. It is so nice that I dyingly want to buy the products. xD

Go to the link, more to see. http://lovelypackage.com/archer-farms/

Yeah!

Suddenly, I will be the class teacher and English teacher of two important classes.  It is good! I sat down and thought for awhile. I get a promotion! Praise GOD!

*********

Check out this site, http://www.juliaicenogle.com/illustration/illustration.html

Whatever Phobia, you name it they have it. 

Must check this out!!!

What happen to your baby teeth after the dentist take them out. You must check out this blog!

http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/ 

Hot holiday

It feels so good and secured to type on my own keyboard and touch my mouse. I just can't help but indulge myself in using it.

It is the best time to rest and do what i need to do now. It is the HOLI-daysss...zzz... well, I can't wake up in the morning until 10 or 11am... LOL... so bersemangat just now saying 'Do what I need to do...' I just rest til the MAX ;)

Just back from home and getting ready to strike for more. 

******

Give thanks to what you have even it is not what you desire. Always count the blessing you have before you even thinking of saying a complain from your mouth. 

******

Recently I realised, it is like I have never noticed before, health is more important than wealth. I always believe in this saying but I don't feel it as deep as this time. 

Grammar and contextualise Headache

His mistakes were being recorded and photocopied as proof to check his performance and to be able to terminate him. All is because of 2 sentences:

1. 'My favourite food is hamburgers, hotdog, fried mee and western food.'

(Solutions: 'Foods' = different type of food / eg. Italian foods, Chinese foods;
'Food' can be singular and plural. So, 'my favourite food are hamburgers, hotdogs, noodles, fried mee... ' )

2. List down the animals you can find in the farm. (Based on the KBSR English Text book Primary 5, Pg. 4_)
Goats, cows, ducks,..., fish and prawns.

They argued about whether fish and prawns are considered farm animals and the pupils answered **based on the text** (Bare in mind, it is based on the text not a general questions)

Solution: From my point of view, fish and prawns are ANIMALS. If they are not, what are they supposed to be? Sea creatures? The question also never state that it should be animals on the land or MUST NOT count those that live in the ponds.

3. Name another 3 farm animals.
Some answered these: Dogs, sheep and rats.
Some argued that dog is not farm animal but we have shepherd dog that take cares of the farm. Yet, dog is not farm animal. Rat is not but we do know that farm has rats. Not to mention some farmers keep rats for some farming reasons.

=.=

I think that the key is not that they can't judge but it is just that they did not practise 'Etika Perguruan'.


'Fish' and 'Fishes', what is the difference? (Find from the Grammar book of Prof G)
Fishes = different type of fish and they are LIVE fish living in the sea or the pond.
Fish = Dead fish, the fish you cook and serve on the table and also the plural of fish.

It is entering the fourth week of serving. I find myself hardly have time to write. I sort of feeling bored about writing blog. Feeling that writing blog cannot share much with others. The time I sit long enough in front of the computer could have been used to go for voluntary work or at least mark a big bundle of books.

...........

Today, I got a gift. A pair of Jeans from my student's mother. She is a relative actually. Yesterday I bought 5 beautiful dresses with a very very reasonable price. I am very happy. Feeling grateful that I have been blessed so much.

The people I meet at work and at home are awesome. They are unique and it has been a blessing to know and love them.
......

Grammar headache: 'Group' It is 'A group of tourists was...' or 'A group of tourists were...' and 'A group of people is coming. ' or 'A group of people are coming.' ?

Solution: 'group' can be used as both plural and singular form. If it is used as singular form, it means the group as a whole or as one. If it is used as plural form, it means that group has many different kind of people.

'There is a lady and a child in the playground' or 'There are a lady and a child in the playground.' ?
My first glance told me that it is 'are' as we tend to count how many people and apply the plural verb in the sentence. However, the answer is 'There is' because 'there' is the pronoun and another important key word is 'and'. This sentence comes from 'There is a lady in the playground' ; ' There is a child in the playground'. So, There is a lady and a child in the playground.

But, 'There are three chairs and a table in the room' is correct. And, 'There is a table and three chairs in the room' is also correct.
......

People change. changed. changing.

nothing to say. People change. Let me cope with my change and their changes. 

Faithful love is Jesus

Crossing the Jordon River. 

Strong wind blows; big rock tries to block; scissors cut me. I bled. 

Tired and torn.

Easter.

Love is sweet and beautiful, secure and comfort, kindness and patient and comes from the heart.

The pain of the heart is needle sticting and poking; huge scissor cutting it to pieces. 

Caution: Hot and Fragile. Sensitive and fresh. 

A smash and cut crash it.

But, God is faithful. He is my faithful love. He tells my broken heart, 'Do not be afraid, the Lord is with you.' Tears flow when the fragile heart hears it. 

How sweet is that whisper of Holy Voice.
It keeps the worn and torn heart warm.
It makes my whole world meaningful.
It blocks nothing between me and Jesus.
It calms the struggling soul and still the restless mind.
It melts the rusty chain that locks the heart.

Heavy rain is His mourn and tears for me. Also,
a moment of close time with Him.
Sun shines to give hope in the mind, soul and heart.  

Until today, I been through so much difficulities and pain like anyone else. Did and do many mistakes.  
But, God is my faithful love. No regrets or complaints because I accpeted Him as my personal saviour.
He is real. Jesus is alive. Truly alive. Easter is when Jesus' love pour down heavily, heavily, heavily to moisture and sweeten earth and faithfully pour down ever since. 

-Psalm  of Easter. 

Solitude

Classes have finally come to a final week. I am leaving campus end of this month. I still cannot believe myself but it is the truth. 

God has been with me just like how He promised me. I love God. He is faithful. Who ever has a taste of God will long for more. I am one of these poeple. 

I am excited about the new school. Though I should wait until all is confirmed only we celebrate it. However, I changed my mind. Each progression and result are worth to celebrate. I am going to the Curve alone tomorrow. Shopping. Solitude. 

*hate to think about spending... suddenly high taxi fee strikes my mind* well, i guess i still want to go.  

i realise how easy and how much the tendency for us to fall into traditional mind set easily. Following the norm is one of that. We are so fond and comfortable to fall to traditional again and following the norm without opening our eyes for new ideas and changes. I am not saying traditional is all wrong but the tendency for us to do what others is doing to feel secured is just wrong. The circle will pass on the next generation until someone or someday we break it. 

I protest and constantly remind myself to be not following the norm and not obsess with tradition. I support the beauty of tradition and against the stupidity of over modernise thoughts and actions. 

God, remind me always. Love you God and love you dear

Just remember that I actually LOVE IT!

I am almost done with my English Blog! We named it 7 Day English. Thanks to Kee Aun for the design, the name and the theme. I think of the theme and design of the templete and Kee Aun helped out a lot. 

Finding another side of me, graphic desgin and art. I love them! I could not help but thinking and enjoying doing graphic and pictures. 

This is my English Blog: 7 Day English and Oscar Buzz (This is Ying's creativity)

Silence

Each time when I check mail, I see no mail reply from you. I am filled with disappointment. I wonder what is happening on your side, what is in your discussion and when will you sit down and type a reply for me?

I went to my room to pray. Silence filled my room. I prayed and listen to the silence. 

I know God is telling me something. 

I do not need money and comparison to confirm my value. I do not have to talk too much or speak like a successful tongue. It is the Lord who brings success and blessing to my life not how good I can speak.

Wisdom is the end result of the actions.

Silent God is pointing to me to preserve and be confident in Him for His response is silent but it is a peaceful, faithful and secure silent. He will answer my pray. 

All I need is You, Lord. All I need is You. 

Filling happy and contented. Knowing it is not based on my own imagination God speaks these to me. There are other ways to deal with it but I need God first before all the suggestion bombard into my house. 

My last play...

My last play under Mr. Lim. I feel melancholy and heavy to leave yet I have to move on with life. Mr. Lim has been an 'One in a Million' lecturer throughout my whole four years course in U.M. This near to 60 years old dude ROCKS! He ROCKS! YEAH, HE ROCKS! xD

...........

When I first heard of the title of the play, I have no idea at all what is that. 'A three calm designers'? 'A straightCar desire' ? =.= It is actually 'A streetcar named desire' 

My role is the husband, Stanley Kowalski. It was acted by Marlon Brandon. Let me show you this gorgeous man. 

I don't like this character but it is a challenge for me. 

 Stanley (Marlon Brandon back in 1951)

 The Godfather (Marlon Brandon)

to remind everyone who is in love and relationships :)

When was the last time we talk to God and the person we love? 

Sara's 'Just One More Thing' reminds me how to love better. 

Sara Groves: Just One More Thing

There's always just one more thing
There's always another task
There's always I just have one more small favor to ask
And everything is urgent and everything is now
I wonder what would really happen if I stopped somehow
I'll be there in a minute
Just a few places to go
You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you're got
And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing
There will never be an end to
The request upon your time
It's your place to stand up and tell the world
You've got to rest awhile
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you've got
And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

Beautiful is the moment talking to God and stay in Him 

Who will love my heart and make it into one again?

Lord, can You love my heart for me? My heart has stopped beating. 

Why it matters

Why it matters

When you tell the story, remember I am waiting.

When you told the beauty, I hope I am in your corner of your mind.

Knowing I love.     I do.     I care.     I feel. 

Speak to me til I understand. 

                                      It is how it matters. 

You are beauty and shinny, 

I tone down. Giving love in the dark under the eye of the Justice. 

That is beauty. 

                                It is how it matters. 

When time is rushing, people are pushing.

Thousand deep the heart feels, infinity distance close up, wonders come to an answer, 

when you just have to turn and look into my eyes. 

                              I was and am waiting. 

                              It is how it matters. 

Sosiology definition

In sociology class, mobility social identifies that when an individual climbs up to another social status in education, you are climbing up to another step of higher status. Hence, society has elit class, upper class, moderate class and lower class - poverty. 

I found myself trap in bewteen. I am climbing up to another level but I am trapped because I am not going any further. I have nothing to make me go up further. In fact, I feel myself moving down; which is also mobility social of going down fall; towards the fall and lower social status. 

I feel I have a spoilt life and a spoilt childhood. I am not good in anything. Whatever ability I have accademic can't prove or show. Whatever wisdom and gifts I have are not able to apply to real life to earn myself higher level. 

Sociology indentifies my situation, dilemma and social status as static mobility social. In another word, stay in between of poverty and moderate class. My dream to go India as volunteer will even pull me down to poverty level. 

In conclusion, I have a spoilt life and childhood that could me equip me to a very capable, confident and talented person in society. This leads to either static or down fall mobility social. No social control/ kawalan social could possibly help.

Is my case a disaster and failure? Who will watch over my back and help me? =.=

 

confused and pain

Can anyone tell me what is the problem of my heart?

It keep sending out sourish taste. It is heavy. It suddenly has a hole.

I feel ashamed of myself. 

After four years of studying English, I am still suck in Grammar. 

What is the root problem of it? I think back all my past from primary, secondary til form sixth.

What and how to improve?

I don't know. Who can tell me my questions in my heart and mind now?

Will God open doors?

Is it that one?

I don't know. 

It's going to be alright--- Sara Groves

Sara Groves
Lyrics to It's Going To Be Alright :
It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you're not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you're sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that 

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I believe you'll outlive this pain in you heart
And you'll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that 

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you clichÈ's 
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

One and First... Out of random...

My number One friend with her new Number One/Uno cup

My first rose... only red rose  => 

 

Can you differenciate the shoes? ... It is actually like this... I found my first twin! hehehe...  

The left is Najla and the right one is me ;>

                 

It has been a long time since my last walk with kee aun. Today we went for a walk. Talk. 

I wish this time never stop. 

I feel refresh and ready to WORK!!!!!!!!!! 

Two days of rest and rest. 

I must finish writing KDO term papers, add in somemore Norini's pp, Children play and next week is TEST for sosiology... =.=

I can't wait for Friday to come :) 

Valentine Sweet

I just had a very beautfiful and romantic dinner with Kee Aun. 

What make it so special is because we both share a bowl of 'lou shu fan' and 'leong tao fu'. This packet of food is 'tak pao' by his sweet father and brother.

Eat at the same dining area where growing up takes place for this family, playing the same favourite songs and food. The food is delicious. Not spending on something with high price low cost food. 

He gently put the food into two bowls and cleaned everything for me.

Watching him take out the food, wash, clean and arrange the plates. I see fatherhood and love. Simplicity yet genuine.

Sweet. Happiness. Blessing.

Quiet and relax. Comfortable and clean. No others but all family.

Exceptance and love. 

This I consider the best valentine dinner. I am still hoping that we could have another dinner and spend some time talking. 

Flowers will fade away but the feelings of receiving flowers will last forever

it has been a busy week. Sleep after 3am every night because of Valentine. Clean, wash, pack, arrange, clear torns, wrap, design... tired... 

Do I feel worth it? I don't get high pay but I am happy, satisfied and learn skills. Happy because I can know many new faces and great people in my work place, we laugh and feel free to express ourselves, our thoughts and our crazy jokes among ourselves regardless our age and gender. Satisfied is because I learn to arrange flowers and each time when I manage to arrange the flowers beautifully I am satisfied. Whenever we can think of something new and pratical to handle and solve some problems I feel extra satisfied. The skills that I learn are beyond words. I am a person who seek what I want to learn then I will learn. Flowers arrangement - I will never look at flowers the same way again, wrapping and colour coding and combination. Communication and management skills - I see it as a good basic ground I learn and all the management theories that I studied before come alive when I work here. Relationship management. Collaboration leadership. And etc. 

Everyday I went home feeling tired, sometimes angry but somehow satisfied. When I laid down on my bed and resting my head on the new pillow Kee Aun's father bought for me, I feel contented and loved. The pillow is wonderful! The thoughts and the people behind this pillow is love. Thank you, uncle and Kee Aun. 

;)

Last night, two days in a row, back to back, we were 'paid to celebrate Valentine'. Believe it or not? But it is true. We worked for Valentine. We walked ard Jaya One and sold flowers. We got rejection; at the same time; we witnessed people who bought the flowers out of love to give to their special onse. I am not doing any advertising here but the feeling of seeing others happy is the joy that satisfied me. Flowers will die and fade away but the feelings of receiving the flowers will stay forever in the heart and memory.

Some people buy flowers to impress gals; some buy for their special ones just because of love. Just remember, the flowers are not wrong, the flowerist are not wrong too. It is the intention and what you do with the flowers to the person you give that is the point. In my opinion, any lady in this world, no matter what age, they deserve to receive flowers. Expensive, carefully wrapped and designed bouquet of flowers or just simply one or raw stalks of flowers. THEY JUST DESERVE IT! Those who spend also must be wise when spending that's all I can say. But, I really believe a woman deserve to receive flowers; at least once; in their life. 

sticky stain vs. fresh fallen snow

"Come now, let us argue this out," says the Lord. "No matter  how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow." Isaiah 1:18

Hosana

the Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those who are crushed in the spirit. Psalm 34:18

My sight is blurred because of my tears.  Psalm 31:9

Don't leave me now; don't abandone me. Psalm 27:9

Jesus said:

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28

Naive Stupid

Don't depend on others even the closest friends. They could disappoint you and hurt you even deeper than you expected. 

Human take advantages. Friendship is built mostly because of they are USING each other. 

I am Naive and my surname is Stupid. Thanks for reading my blogs. 

my fantasy

My fantasy is to have a barbie house. A self made barbie house because the real one costs me a lot. Then, I want to buy small tiny kitchen toy set for the kitche and buy some barbie collection to make it complete.

Trust me. I already think of how to do a doll house ;) Use book shelf. It looks plain but I believe that I can turn it into a fun, spacious and well planned doll house. 

I still keep all the barbie clothes my mom sew for me and the furniture I 'custom' made for my barbie. They are antique!!! I will pass it on for my future daughters and play with them. I will buy them Kent coz I don't have one xD I want to think of creative ways to design the doll house, how to plan and how to utilise the things we have or recycle them to be something for the barbie collection :P

Laugh at me if you want. I don't care. That is my childhood passion and dream =p

This is a DIY doll house someone did and try to sell it

PASTA FESTA

The Ingredient: 
 
 

The Chefs:

  

The Boss and Camera lady:

I cook also la... wash dishes too ;)

The guests are no other than... (except Jeneft... dono where she went xD...)

 and Ching Pey... can't find her photo... =/

Well, just feel like showing off xD

We had a pasta party this afternoon. We cooked. Thanks ladies ;) 

Silent killer

Justice                               

justice, 

JUSTICE.

Where have you been?

They are killing her silently.

LOVE

love

LOVE.

No heart among them has you stay inside.

They let you become just lust.

I try.

I tried.              i try                  i am trying                      I AM TRYING

not to stop loving them but my heart is tired and angry for their deed.

My life is in Your hand. Lord, have mercy for us. Have mercy for us. Have mercy for us. 

Hear my prayer from my compasionate heart for the land I live. 

I want to be confirm first then announce

I got it! I got it! Excited yet I have my worries. I wish it is a confirm that I get it. :) 

I learn to list down my worries and then see what I can do about it:

1. I hope others won't put too much expectation from me just because I got a professional degree in education. I am still learning and on the way to professional. I am willing to learn. I am willing to learn from the zero to hero. 

2. I am worried that I might not be able to handle them. 

3. I am worried that my written language is not good enough. 

4. I think sometimes I have low self esteem that is why I am anxious about doing mistakes.

5. I hope my conversation with the boss is guided with wisdom and pray that Jesus is at my side.

6. I hope they inform me as soon as they can where they are sending me. 

7. I hope I mean what I say. I don't want to say about my plans or passion or interest just because I am in the situation that I must say something. Yet, I mean it if I really say it. 

8. I worry that I might disappoint people as I don't think I am proffesional yet. I will learn :) I promise! 

I care

I care.

I care.

And

I care.

I care the boxes you collected for me.
I care the things that you fixed with your flip of fingers.
I care when you drive me around for my things and for my day.
I care when you spend time talking to me to calm me, share my problems and blames.
I care when you are angry.
I care when your face change.
I care when your bag is heavy and you have to carry them around.
I care when you came with my dinner.
I care when you are hungry.
I care when you are rushing to work and to class.
I care when I hear your unhappiness.
I care because you are my best friend ever.
I care because you are the best I ever met.
I care because I love you.

I care yet not knowing how to express more is tearing off my heart and mind for you.

Peak season

This is the year and the months that most of us come to a point that we could not decide what is the next step. I feel that I am on a peak wondering where to jump and worry where will I land. But, I believe once we have decided we will jump down and spear our wings and fly freely like birds. 

All the best for all of my friends. May God bless you and protect you along the ways you walk. 

Heart broken but I will survive

I woke up just now from my long nap. It was 7.40p.m. Opps, I think I have overslept a bit. I feel very tired... most of all, I feel a hole missing in the heart and I feel cold. 

I feel guilty for not lowering my voice til the most gentle one. I raised my voice. What was in my mind? What have I done? Why I feel so stress up? Will we end up arguing even if I lower my voice and explain with a gentle tone? And will they even listen to me when I explain even I lower my voice? 

Where is your empathy? Why can't you all understand me for what I have told you, for what I have explained to you all again and again? 

My heart is broken. I know now. 

I am trying to put pieces broken heart back to its place and I used to cry. I can't fight the tears that are coming down.

I come out from the same house, think and respond to the same issues and even share the same blood. But, I can't understand why they can't understand me and accept me. Ya, who am I to say? I am nobody. I might not understand them at all too.

Now is my crucial time to choose direction. What you all know about future? Especially what I want and what I really want to break through. All you know is to ask me to go back and stay in the house doing nothing, no direction, not to mention nobody to lead me, not more to say it is again another Egypt enslavement, maybe God intends to make me Joseph, I have to fight alone and live life with hard labour... maybe through these God will reveal...but can I live like that? To be honest, I can't. 

I never like to complain. Not in front of them at all. But, today I break the rules. Damn what the fortune tellers who prophesied I am a bad child, I am proud, I won't love my family. Damn the fortune tellers who poisoned their minds. Damn the hearts that believe and accused me for every single detail things I do without using the brain to think. I won't return for good other than visit poeple who know me. Not even a car to drive around to find a damn job to survive, not even more space for me to put my books, not even want to change any arrangement of table or chair to at least make some space. Anyway, I don't want to go back. My heart is staying here in Isreal. Island, how cruel you have treated me. I will make myself go back for them but not for you.  

The song of 'I will survive!' is playing in the radio.  I will survive. 

WHAT WAT WAAAAT A DAY!!!

Perhaps today the lesson God wants me to learn is forgiveness. 

What a day~!!!!!! 

Situation number 1: JAM and very jam in the car park. Drivers were pressing their horn non stop and without mercy regardless whether you are the cause of the jam or not. I am serious abt the NON STOP part. Crazy than some penang drivers. The sound, the horn, and the congestion give us such a stress.

Situation 2: I went to Guardian. Lined up at the pharmacy counter. Not feeling well, heavy flue that caused my right ear can't hear properly and carrying my heavy laptop. Waited patiently for the families in front to settle their payment coz something worng with their credit cards. There were a couple, a lady and a tall western friend plus I myself lining up to wait for our turn. Being understanding customers, we waited patiently and holding his breath for the congestion. Mable waited for me til almost melting and she was still waiting without a sound. Suddenly, an auntie and uncle came, cut our line as if they owned the shop and rush to buy their medication. 

I don't understand why the pharmacist served them instead of us who had been lining up more than 20 min. What a DAY!!! When it was our turn, they didn't serve us politely but just throw the medication we want on the counter. Looking from their point of view, I know they are stress and the auntie and uncle need their medication but we are customers and also seriously needing our medication too... we didn't even show them any faces =.="... What a day! What is the problem???

Situation 3: Then, Mable and I went to Coffee Bean. I bought my coffeee and go online. I have no other choice but use the the nearest plug. Here come a group of teens. That two guys rush to buy drinks and kicked my adapter. My laptop and my coffee were almost on the floor!!! I know that in this situation there is no right or wrong so immediately without thinking I apologised. Irony is THEY GAVE ME A LOOK AND STARED AT ME! Mable and I were pissed too. Gentlemen! What is in your mind!!!

I told Mable that they gave me a look even I apologised first. And, in this pissed situation I did complain but I did not curse. I said out loud coz I knew that their gals' frens are behind me. WHAT A DAY!!!! They stood up when the guys walked here and said out loud that they want to move place to another side with a rude tone. I did feel uncomfortable. However, I choose to pretend I do not care anymore and I do not bother to look. Many customers will do what I do which is sit to the nearest table less than even 0.5 metre and plug in to go online. Well, I won't say out loud next time or at least wait til they left. I don't know what is the problem. It was an accident! Gentlemen!!! =.="

WHAT A DAY!!!!! I do not want to let these poeple spoil my mood. It is affecting Mable's mood as well. Ending this blog with prayer.