3 battles in a day and fight back in the name of Jesus

Reflections...

I begin the blog with birds flying freely in the sky and a woman ready to get inthe battle.

That is what I see at the end of the day, by God's grace and mercy He lets me realise that I can choose freedom and fly with Him.

If you say it is not the enemy's plan, I don't believe. As I reflect back, since morning until night I am being annoyed from many parties.

Incident 1: All this while, I, as the tenant at my centre, have the right to borrow trolley and the cleaner and the guard or the cleaner will push it back to the place where the trolley belongs. It has been like since the day we move in to the building.

Today, suddenly the bell rang. I opened the door. A lady, with spectacles and with office lady clothes, came to complain. I actually forgot that I was the one used the trolley as I was very busy with work and totally too indulged until I forgot that it was me who last used the trolley. She came in and talked like she is the boss. She is being very bossy in deed. She complained that the tenants use the trolley and it belongs to another party and so on and blah and blah and blah. Well, I guess I don't look like part of the boss that was why she kept whining and complaining and increased her voice as she talked. --- TRY TO IMPOSE WHATEVER NON BLACK AND WHITE LAWS ON TENANT = ME.

After thinking through and analyse problem: The trolley belongs to a public property, meaning there is no black or white saying the tenant cannot use the trolley. Secondly, the lady must have been complained by any of her superiors and I guess she did not receive good bonus from her boss. Thus, frustrated and cranky.

If all the tenants leave them within two years,I seriously believe that this complex will face serious turn over and financial problem. Lastly, I feel that it is really not the tenants' problem. The landlord is not efficient and they are trying impose their whatever ways they like on us. Worst, we pay more than RM1200 of maintenance fee + cleaning fee per month and we are pushed to follow man's approval to live.

Come to think about it, I really praise God for His creation. Thank God that He creates Man is the leader of the family and man has the figure of leader. I am not saying woman is any less to be a good leader. I met many great leaders and they are strong women. However,female tends to have many 'blah blah blah' and not straight to the point and not straight to the problem and thus no solution then they will complain and behave like childish and foolish person.

Incident 2: BB complained the calculation of fee.

We have tried our best and some parents really very fussy about the school fee. I am trying my best and sometimes we cannot argue as we really cannot do anything. Well, I will look at it as 'ok, I will take note of that and we will not do it again' If any clients complain, I would ask them to write in to email to the big boss.

Again, unreasonable and foolish thinking is trying to imposed to me.

BB should come in and work with us for a week - hey, maybe BB should take over my role and promise no mistake like miss out students, books and etc. Then, BB will know.


Incident 3: HQ foolish returning stocks.

Dah la not enough books for almost 364 days in a year now they want us to return more than half a thousand of books. I really don't understand. The blood rush up to the top of my head! I can feel the heat and the anger! I complain at home. Poor Kee Aun and family have to hear this.

At first, I wrote a long email to complain and express my frustration. After cooling down, I prayed and decided that I will keep my email short using powerful reasons and words. If they really want me to return I know what to do. I will return to them. I don't live for my company and I don't live for secure amount of books. I live for Jesus. In my journey I walk with Him and I walk for Him. I want to depend on God to open doors for me for victory and win this battle of 'requesting the amount of books we suppose to have'.

I want to depend on Jesus to win the victory like Nehemiah, Benjamin, David and Moses. The people that come to my mind are Nehemiah and David. I pray that God's favour and mercy upon me and I pray that I win and walk with victory in the name of Jesus, not by my way and strength but by depending on Him to lead. I have done my part to write emails to the right authority and stated clearly the solid reason. The rest I just surrender to Jesus.

'The victory is mine but the battle is the Lord, HOSANA HOSANA X2' I want to depend on Jesus.

There are 3 major sides of parties come at the same time to impose non black and white rules and tighten me. I see myself stronger than before. I still respond over it. If I say I don't and only think and then only respond - I AM LYING! When you are in my position, you will know what I mean. But I see that this tearing down let me see that I am stronger - I am not so afriad anymore and I am not in anxiety like tomorrow I will be dead meat. I feel that what I need to do is to pray hard, walk with faith and walk close with God to win this battle. I will do 100% what I need to do and the rest I leave it to Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

Practice Theory even you totally don't feel like doing it.

'Practice Theology'

This is the phrase hits me during the Sunday's sermon. I have studied 4 years about being a teacher, methodology, ethics, philosophy, sociology, leadership and etc. I have the tendency to not practice all the theories and methodology I studied when I teach and worst of all I feel like giving up. I feel like I want a break and I rather work as a librarian for a short while just to stay away from all the pressure, expectation and stop meeting and handling weird demands and complaints.

I just want a break. I want to stop whatever methodology and theories I am training my teachers and go somewhere else and totally put down the burden and responsibility.

Today God shows me that when He empower you as a leader you need to 'Practice Theology/Theory'.

Again, God speaks to me our life, my life is to walk with faith. He favours faith and He wants me to put no other things as important as Him.

I sitting in front of my laptop wondering how do non believers live. How do they survive in the lonely darkness and when fear, anxiety, anger, temptation come, how? These poor sheep have lost their way.

Again, God encourages me that my blog post yesterday is His teaching - Pride tears down characters, thus we cannot glorify God.

Pride will tear off your character

Today I spoke to a parent using the word 'The lesson will push forward/ carry forward as the following week is a holiday..' He looked at me as though some kind of nerd speaking English.

He told me it should be 'push frontward' or 'reserve'. *Whatever it is*

I smiled to him with my face all turning red because I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

First of all, I don't agree with using word 'push forntward' or 'reserve'.

Most of all, it is the attitude that really trigger my frustration and anger.

Who are you? Even if you have a master or graduate from Oxford, with such attitude I don't have respect for you.

I keep reminding myself - Pride will tear my character to pieces leaving nothing to shine for Jesus.

Back to myself again. A one man show and two small pairs of hands yet powerful

I am left with a thought of giving up.

In this year of 365 days, I want myself to learn to control my emotion. I need to stay calm and just let go when ridiculous things happen and funny people with over ridiculous request. I envy Boon Aun's jazzy life. When he plays his jazz music, it is as though we are in back to our safe zone and look at life pass by, play with it and reflect. It is as though we are in a cozy and proper restaurant to enjoy and drink a cup of good coffee. Thus, enjoy.

I have decided that I will help her until the end. It has been almost the end of Jan, I have another 11 months to go. I will maintain. I will fight. I pray God grant me favours and open doors like how He grants Nehemiah favour and opens doors for him under the King Artaxerxes. When the end comes, I will see how God leads me to new place and new hope and new challenge. In the end, it is not about me it is God I live for.

I need God more and more.

Many things to do and there are many reflections that I don't feel like pen them down and don't even want to leave any mark on the net.

After about 6 years of living in KL, one major difference I realize is less thing can be done in KL within a day compare to Penang island.

I used to be able to follow mummy and get most of the things done. Everything can be done as soon as possible if what you need to do is before 8pm. Plus, the shop and places we go are good, reasonable and honest business people.

Living in KL, there must be the thoughts first. You will have a lot of things to do in your hand. You will have to make a time to make it happen. Secondly, the shop you prefer might be 30 or 45min away from your house. Or need to pass few tolls to reach there. Secondly, different area has different price for certain items.

Second different thing is Penang is traditional British style and simple minded. KL has so much to offer and it has a lot of variety. From smoothing to hot spicy.

In Penang, you can have a slightly above average income and have above average house and eat well, wear well and live well.

In KL, you can have good income but cannot guarantee you have good house. The tendency to spend on good clothes and phone is high. In Penang, rich people are really willing to spend on branded perfume, handbag, and phones. However, in KL phone is cheaper but KL people have to spend higher price for clothes for social demands.

I am in between. Sometimes I cannot breathe. Someone comes to the house and we all start chatting. I am weak in the head therefore the will to do something is weak. I forgot what I wanted to blog.

The most important is God. I only see hopes in Jesus. I see that only He can bring us to the things that we cannot imagine and only He will be your best best friend forever.