The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20


I have made a choice that has less chosen. I longed for something to relieve my tedium everyday life. My journey has become tedious.

I love the first stanza as the persona and I are deep thinker who think and look further so that we will make a right choice. The first stanza portrays the battling minds and the endurance of the persona and I. We can be patient with the endurance at the same time battling with the minds to find solutions. Apart from that, we both stress ourselves enough to have such a wave of emotion to feel the every suffering of making a decision that will affect our entire future. As a result of the suffering, he writes an influential, realistic yet charming master piece. And I get a strike by his poem for my entire life. I believe if Robert Frost is still alive, he and I will become good friends who share the same kind of stress, suffering and great deep thoughts.

Our stress that pushes our every sense of the body to suffer is sharpening our every common sense and humanity.

I have in loved with this poem so much that I find none other poems is as attractive as this one.

The third stanza, oh I like it! I truly doubt whether I will turn back or go back to the side I have not taken to travel far. I truly doubted and doubting about it. I see that when a road is chosen, I will walk it out. There hardly will be any turning back for time. I feel the freshness of more green pasture in front. I will walk it out in the end. And time will age me and no doors to go back. Yet, it is not something so despair and desperate. One road leads to another, there is always better roads for me and blessing is waiting for me.

The last stanza reflects my voice of the tedium everyday life and the secret thought of choosing a better direction. I sigh to write my blog. I sigh. Yet, I am glad that I have made a decision and taken the less chosen, tedious and taxing side. I smell the freshness and feel the breezing cooling air brushing through my face as I walk in the new gate. Bright sunshine warms my feet and still water is next to me.

I have no balls.

I guess leaving is the best solution.

Dono

Can anyone tell me what should I choose? I really have no idea.

Teaching in my school is as if war every day. If I manage to fight it, I feel successful. If I fail to do it, I will be on a guilt trip and fear of being questioned and terminated.

Can anyone tell me what should I do? Is that how does it feel to be a teacher?

God is so silently protecting me. When will your hands show me where should I go?

Hanging there but believe that it is time to move on

I could not solve my transportation problem and I found that it was no use to condemn myself anymore for not being able to support a car and drive myself to work.

More money and more responsiblity are the keys to own a car. I am somehow lack of one of them. I see through that money does not mean everything. So what if I have enough cash to support myself a car, I still need to have higher income to maintain my car. That already means a solite quater of my pay will be gone.

I do not consider myself poor as my life is so much better than before. I am enjoying every breath of my life and my living condition now. I am very thankful and always give thanks that I am blessed with sufficient income to support my own apartment and any other forms of expenses. At the same time, I am so blessed to stay with the Tans' family whose love and care are always overflowing to anoint me. They are the second family.

I give thanks and still faithful to God. I give thanks for every disaster I encountered which allow to improve better. I give thanks for every sleeping late days as I learnt to work so much faster than I expected and more consistent than I thought I could. I give thanks for times when I did not have enough to even buy myself a pants to work as I learnt to fully used what I had to turn them into something useful. I give thanks for dry season as we both see through our strength and anointing come from God only.

Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga x3! Bingo bingo bingo oh bangga! It is time to push through and see how things go.

Grammar Geek

I find that the best place to RE-learn my grammar is to teach in primary school. I learn with the children, check dictionary almost every day - it is VERY frustrating but you learn as the days passed, and read up some books to check grammar.

I hated and hated this process as it always slows down my work but I realised that my grammar has improved. I actually feel satisfied after all the 'mountain climbing' and 'break to the most basic piece to relearn'.

I somehow feel to go on more but perhaps situations and circumstances do not allow me to do so.

A series of unfortunate events

The first encounterment:
1. Monday night - sleeping disorder - didn't sleep well at all.

Second encounterment:
2. Tuesday night and midnight - felt very cold, sneezed non stop and face was swollen. Plus, came home with tans of workload, worst than an Indonesian maid but easier than surgical operation.
Have to 'clorox' the school cloth for I am the teacher.

Third, fourth and countinue counting...
3. Wednesday morning - the flu turned very bad. Non stop sneezing and non stop feeling headache til I hardly could think so I took off on that day. Apart from that, I felt super cold at mid night and I woke up with stronger headache.

Countinue counting...
4. Thursday morning - the flu was not getting any better; in fact, the headache is getting stronger, the pain is spreading to the shoulder, top of the head and my pelvis,and my whole body was aching. I went to the government clinic again for the doctor told me go back to her if I were not well again. I followed her instructions. However, today different doctor consulted me. He refused to give me any M.C. The worst thing was he didn't even really check what kind of flu I have but just a very brief check up. He gave me stronger flu medication - meaning will be even more drownzy - and panadol, which is the medication will trigger my allergy. I was very upset. I get a nagging from the doctor for no reason and got all the medication which were the same like yesterday.
In the end, I went to a private clinic, which is known as quite reasonable doctor. The doctor gave me a detailed check up and identify it as a type of virus - not the H1N1- apparently the virus is attacking my whole body. I might look fine on the outside but actually the body inside is fighting with the virus. He advised me to rest one more day at home. Also, it is better to stay away from the children in my school just in case I spread to them.
Now, I am at home. Taken the medication. My work as a teacher is still on going. I still need to mark tans of books and worksheet. There is a question in my head - It is because I am weak or it is because of the burden and work load that I have been carrying it for four months.
I pray hard God gives me an answer for the next road to take.
Is it the grass at the other side is greener?