Materialistic or need?

I really wish to write these in my list but I don't want to because it will permanently in my diary.

So, I write in my blog. Coz I know I will change the list once I am satisfied or bored with the dream xD another word can be 'give up' or 'I have thought through about it and find it not worth it to have it.'

The grace and anointing God is what I need. However, there are somethings that I really wish I have:

1. My Lenovo mini lappy

2. Cell phone

3. NEW SPECS, yes new specs.

4. saving plan. Yes, saving plan. No kidding.

My solid IBM is still solid and strong. Never give me troubles and I truly thank God for that. The only problem is upgrading is way too costly and it is really laggy. It is not so convenient for me to bring it around compare to have a mini one. *Looking at the sky and sigh* Some friends I know think that laptop is just cheap nowadays. Ya, it is true. However, saving is my first priority. I totally could not afford one now even the need of a new laptop is appearing. But, you are a teacher. I know. Teachers don't earn that much unless we do 'out source delivery' or get a good lecturing position.

It is dropping apart! Yes, my phone. Cool factor drops 5 points out of 10! *sniff sniff* Sony functions is very user friendly but as my career is reaching another level. I feel strongly that the need of a new cell to help me do my work is reaching to my nose. But, I really could not afford yet. *Looking down feeling sad*

Just now, I suddenly realised that I need a new specs. The rubber on the nose part is dirty and SO DAMN HARD TO CLEAN! My Gosh! I still cannot change specs because I still can't find a reasonable shop with good workmanship like the one I used to go in Penang. The uncle is just awesome. Some might think that I am just bias but it is true!!! That uncle has his own shop and most of his specs are not 'China stocks'. It is also very reasonable and his workmanship is just BEST OF THE BEST! Even daddy's specs still last until today. It is more than 8 years di!

Last but not least, a saving plan. There is this saving plan that I always wanted to start but I still could not commit yet. My source of bread is not stable yet and I am a bit worry to commit in the plan as I really dono whether I can afford to commit or not. My head has a lot of 'what if'... aaaaaaa...

Feel that I am materialistic. Looking at the list I only see money, new technology and cool gadget. That are what I want and also what I need. I need grace and blessing from God but I do not know why a part of me deeply feel that I am lack of something to move forward in daily life when I do not have these things.

I already know the next thing to come in the list is a spacious apartment and our design.

And, my ultimate desire is to have lots of billions in the bank to have unlimited usage and each month have big amount of profit putting into the account. That is honestly my ultimate dream. Crazy, am I?