I am tired that I was living in someone's else lie. My reality cannot connect back to the truth that has just revealed. The liar is selfish and did not even want to think of the consequences and how does it hurt the person who believes and wants to help.
I am tired of guessing games. The solution is do my best and it is God whom I need to give my accounts to.
Every day God is stretching me. Changes are molding me to b flexible and sharper than before to know how to take proactive steps.
However, I am sick of lies. I am sure that I am blessed with the gift of innocence. I am innocent, not naive, yet I was being told lies for half a year. I feel very disappointed, I tell God today that I forgive them but I cannot forget. But, it will be a reminder.
Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that's the end of them. Proverbs 24:16
Be brave and strong! Don't be afraid of the nations on the other side of the Jordan. The Lord your God will always be at your side, and he will never abandon you. Deuter:31:6
These verses comfort me a lot. I cannot give help to others for this mean time. I really fall down in the midst of helping people. I saw myself angry and cannot forgive them then I saw myself standing in a sandy and muddy valley. There were many metal chains tide up loosely all around me. I could get out from there but I did not and start touching the chains and staring at them. I saw lights in front of me direct me to get out from that valley. So, I told God. I want to get out from the valley, free from the chains before they get tighten up and look upon Him, worship Him and focus on Him. At that moment, I feel the tightness on the heart has been released.
Now, my emotion and my mind are not yet fully recover from the shock and the pain. However, I know that my spirit has been touched my God's mighty presence and I am flying with Him.
Thank you Father in Heaven for the wonderful presence. Your words and your promise are real.
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